last night

wow. it came full circle last night. i've come to realize i do love jay but when he fails me (or anyone does, for that matter), i somehow feel more alone than i ever do, so im constantly searching for companionship. and love is a nice3 little added bonus. so isa and i arent friends anymore and when jay fails me, it hurts more not only because its jay, but because hes my best friend and i thought that i could count on him. but nooo, little miss bubble boob brain barbie bitch has to completely monopolize his time and he doesnt have any brain left for me because she stole it all :). ok theres some comic relief. i need him in my life and i realize how much a) jesse mcccartneys song just go pertains to the situation and b)why should i write songs when pretty much every emotion has been expressed in a song already. I was thinking about this a lot last night and i think i've about covered it. i love victoria christene and everyone who helped me, especially racheal as well. sooo, i think i'll be okay. starting to be.