wow

havent posted in a while, havent felt the need to i guess. not that anyone reads this. so lets see, what has happened. well in english we read beloved by toni morrison and it recommends to relive the past as opposed to suppress it. So im reliving my very recent past. to start (since sisters before misters), i have a new super close friend. he name is brandi elizabeth goss and i actually feel comfortable ranting and bitching to her. so now my best friends are julie, amy ritter, brandi, lauren leisure, alexie, maria, and ill let you know when i think of more.

and jay, damn him, will not quit bugging me. he has (i cant even type her full name) aka bubble brain/bubble butt/ sandra d/ likelike :) and i think im either jealous pissed off or just upset that im not his number one anymore even though he tries to reassure me of this idk if i should even believe him because his pda moments make me want to barf. he asked me out on 9/22/08, one of the greatest days of my life, and then, by thursday, i was ancient history. in my last blog i said i love him, and i'm fairly certain its still true. i dont get like mushy feelings but there's something there. so then i met my "rebound" guy only i feel bad calling him that because he is way more and i feel like i need him. i'm not sure what to do. jay's problem is he cant balance friends and a relationship so i told him he better try or he wont have friends. and i refuse to acknowledge this bitch's existence because she is partially responsible for almost destroying the best friendship i have ever had. so idk if that qualifies as love but whatever the hell it is, it's annoying. hes always on my mind and when theyre together i either want to scream cry barf or all 3. why cant i have jay to myself? thats my underlying issue people. oh and i am so jealous of sandy, i think its still love. because when i was dating him (for 3 days because hes a wimp, might i add), i felt the BIGGEST FREAKIN EUPHORIA I WAS ON CLOUD 9! read my last blog! and i wrote a journal too! my first kiss was from him and now my second and third wont be like they were supposed to be! damn allyson emily strasen! why cant she just go back to bitchtown! i have enough on my plate with college and grades and i barely think about anything else but THEM or rather him. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT! HE IS SUCH AN AMAZING BEAUTIFUL SWEET FATHEAD! NOTHING GOES THROUGH HIS THICK SKULL! HE ASKED ME TO HANG OUT WHERE I REALIZED I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM! WHEN RHS IS PLAYING AGAINST MY FIRST EX'S SCHOOL! oh boy, this will be funn.